McKayla, during the evening gown competition.
McKayla as they announced her as the winner... I just love her look of pure shock and surprise!
CHAPTER SEVEN
WORK HARD
“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
Being involved in the pageant industry for six years brought many new experiences into my life. Some were difficult to handle and others were simply beautiful to be of a part of. But if there is one thing that I have learned, whether it be winning a pageant, getting a job, losing weight, or raising children, if you put in the work you will definitely reap the benefits!
I saw work in action happen time again in the pageant industry. As my daughter set out to compete for the title of Miss Teen Utah International, she was not afraid to work hard. As soon as she came up with her goals of what she wanted to achieve and how she wanted to make difference she started working hard by getting more involved in her community. She wrote a children’s book about her platform, “Kindness Counts”, that she could take into elementary schools to help the children learn how to be more kind. She worked on her walk, her speaking skills, and her physical appearance and when it came time to compete she was able to win the title even though she was the youngest girl competing. As her mother, I seen her go from a shy, quiet, very reserved little girl, to a confident young woman not afraid to express her ideas and share herself with others.
My first year Directing, I had a contestant enter the competition that wanted to learn how to overcome her shyness, and fear of public speaking. Having never competed in a pageant before, she really didn’t know what to expect or how to prepare. Though we had workshops and appearances to help all of the contestants prepare, she really didn’t put a lot of effort into the competition. When the big night came and she walked out on stage, she
was scared to death. She even had to run off the stage at one point because she felt as if she
might pass out. She had a fair experience that year, but had she worked a little harder and put a little more effort into it she may have had an even more positive experience.
The following year, I was shocked when she decided to compete again. I figured that as painful as had been for her to be in front of people on stage, that she would probably never try it again. However, she had seen the growth in herself and knew that if she put more effort into it she could conquer her fear of being on stage and speaking in front of people.
I don’t think I have ever witnessed any one work as hard as she did that year. She literally blossomed into a more confident young lady. With the help of her mother, she was able to set up seminars and gain some experience in public speaking. She went to every appearance and workshop that we held and even scheduled extra time so that she felt strong and ready to compete. She worked on every area of the competition because she understood the importance of being well-rounded, and she practiced hard. She was committed to finding the perfect wardrobe. One that complimented her physically, and radiated her personal style. When it came time for the competition she felt more confident and ready for the event than she had for anything else in her life.
The competition started out with personal interview. She had practiced and prepared and she was ready. She looked amazing in the suit that she had chosen to compliment her personality. When the interview ended, she felt positive that she had done well. She even commented that she had fun! What a difference she had made in herself and her attitude by committing to put her full effort into this.
I wish that I could say that she went on to win the competition, however after the interview ended, tradgedy struck. She was contacted and told that her grandfather had suffered a heart attack and it didn’t look good. How could she continue the competition? It all seemed so trivial now. She decided that even after all her hard work and effort that she needed to withdraw from the competition. I fully supported her in that decision. That decision, in and of itself, proved to me that she had grown much throughout the past year.
A few hours later as rehearsals were being held, this strong, beautiful young lady returned to the competition. Her grandfather had passed away and after much deliberation, tears, and heartache, she and her family felt that it was the right thing to do. The competition took place and she was able to complete every area with ease and confidence. She was able to show commitment, dedication, and drive in a time when it seemed her world had come crashing down. It would have been so easy for her to give up. But because of what she had learned through her hard work she was able to overcome an obstacle in her life that was very difficult.
I found out a few weeks later that she had volunteered to speak at her High School graduation! I was so glad to hear that she was continuing to set goals for herself and that she had not let hardship defeat her.
An important concept I have learned through being involved with pageants, is that it
is imperative that we continue to set and achieve goals. When I competed in the State, as
well as, the National competition I seen contestants who would invest all of their time and effort in to the competition with the expectation of winning. When it was all over and the title was awarded to someone else, they would have such a hard time accepting it and moving on with their lives. I believe that it was because they hadn’t looked beyond the mark. What happens when you put everything you have into achieving a goal and through your hard work you are finally able to achieve it or possibly fall short? Is that the end? It absolutely is not.
We have to remain in a constant state of setting and achieving goals in order to progress in life. If we give up after one failure we never truly learn what it is to work hard and be successful. One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our power to do has increased.” I have always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason. We may never know what the lesson is that we are supposed to learn from a given situation. Especially, when that situation is emotionally and physically difficult to endure. Life is full of lessons to be learned. Never ever give up! Keep pressing forward, working hard, and setting new goals and you will become stronger and more capable of maintaining a positive attitude in all areas of you life, regardless of the circumstances.
Your assignment: Read over your list of goals again and make sure that you are putting in the work to have to the outcome you desire. If not, make some short-term goals that will help you get back on track and get your head back in the game!
CHAPTER EIGHT
Be Who You Are
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
When my daughter, Mckayla, was in Chicago competing for the National title of Miss Teen International she met some really amazing young women. One of the girls that she became close friends with, taught her some really great lessons throughout the week of the competition. It was funny that these two were able to bond as they did because McKayla was the youngest competitor and her friend, Kim, was the oldest competitor. Having experienced more than McKayla, Kim became the source of much inspiration. McKayla learned first hand what it means to surround yourself with positive energy. But one statement in particular really stuck with McKayla and helped her to be more confident even though she was the youngest competitor and lacked the experience some of the other contestants had. Kim told her, “Always be the best version of yourself, not the second best version of someone else.”
I was so impressed that at the age of 19, Kim already had firm hold on who she was and she wasn’t going to compromise that for anyone or anything.
One of the greatest Challenges that the youth of America face today is the struggle to find out who they are and what their place is in this world. Not only do the youth struggle with this concept, adults do too, especially adult women. I have found through my own experiences of working with youth, that the most noticeable changes in self-acceptance for girls, happens between the ages of 13 -15. And unfortunately the opinion that we form about ourselves when we are that age sometimes continues on through adulthood.
So how do we as adults learn to accept and celebrate who we are and teach our children to do the same? That is the million dollar question. I have a couple of suggestions that seem to be working for my family. Most of these stem from personal experiences, and the journey towards self-acceptance that others have made. I am still learning and I am sure there are many things that could be added, but here are just a few to get you started.
First of all, learn to celebrate your uniqueness. Isn’t it just incredible that out of the billions of people on this Earth, there is not one single person who is exactly like you? Sure we can have a lot in common with others and there are certain people that we just seem to bond with easily from the start. But, there is not one person who has your eyes, your smile, your personality, your zest for life! It is unfortunate that most of us will never live up to the great potential within us. However, we can start striving toward that potential by understanding that you have just as much right to be great as the next person. It doesn’t matter what color your skin is, or how thick or thin you are. It doesn’t matter what circumstances you were born under, or the cards that you have been dealt in this life. You still have a choice, you still “drive your own car.” You can choose to change the way you view life! Is the glass half empty or half full? If you don’t like what is going on in your life right now, only you have the power to change it. If you look in the mirror and you don’t like what you see or the person that you have become, make the choice to change. Realize that along with change comes fear and taking risks is never easy, but only you have the power to change you! Celebrate that fact! Joy in knowing that no one else has your little turned up nose, or your ability to see the good in others. Be grateful that God made you. . .you!
Second, just because there isn’t another person just like you, doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from others. In fact, the only way that we can achieve our full potential, is to learn and grow from our experiences with all the people in our lives. Some of my very best friends are the ones that are very different from me. I have grown to love them despite our differences and they have helped me accept myself for who I am. If we can forgo the instant stereotyping and really try to give others a chance to make an impression in our lives, we will all be better and stronger for it. I believe that God places us in the path of others so that we, in some small way, can help them along their way and vice versa. We will never know what joys we could have had or what great qualities we could learn from, if we never give anyone a chance.
Next, be fiercely loyal to yourself, your family, and your friends. Dishonesty and deceitfulness are on a rampage in our world. Don’t buy into it! Nothing can do more
damage to a family, a business, a friendship or your character. Lying, back biting and
gossiping, and sharing confidences that were not meant to be shared will become a heavy burden in your life that will only serve to bring you and others down.
When my husband was in college he had room mates that liked to drink and get a little crazy. Although that is not my husband’s lifestyle, he would go with them so that he could be the designated driver and make sure that they all made it home safe and sound. He never once belittled them for how they lived their life and he was always there for them when they needed someone to talk to. We have bumped into some of them over the years and they always comment on how much they respected him for sticking to his values and standards but never making them feel inferior because they didn’t have that same value system.
Finally, when you are wrong about something don’t be afraid to own up to your mistake. When you are quick to admit your wrongdoing your mind and soul will be free from un-needed baggage and guilt. You will be able to move forward with a clear conscious and renewed motivation. People will think more of you, for your honesty and forthrightness and your unfailing dedication to your own personal values and standards.
As you continue on your path in your life, I hope that some of the experiences that I have shared with you have made you laugh or cry. . I hope that you have seen yourself in some of the stories that I related. But most of all, I trust that you have become motivated to set a new PACE for your future and that you have gained a greater understanding of how important it is to set that PACE in your life. Whenever you are feeling down, or circumstances just aren’t what you hoped they we be, remember Positive Attitude Changes Everything!
Your Assignment: Never stop setting the PACE!
EPILOGUE
Shortly before the completion of this book, I was hospitalized for a short period of time. My priorities had become hazy. I was not eating well, and I was spending many sleepless nights worrying needlessly over events that were beyond my control. I was operating on over load with nowhere to go but down. Our bodies and brains our complex entities and just like a computer if you overload it, it will crash. If you don’t learn how to slow down, your body will do it for you. Crisis such as this can be avoided.
I share this experience with you to help you understand how critically important it is to constantly re-evaluate your priorities and where you are at in your life. You may think you have it all under control but if you haven’t been diligent in keeping balance in your life, sooner or later it will catch up to you. At the same time, don’t let fear keep you from moving forward. Keep setting goals, dreaming big, and reaching for the stars!
I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and as always remember Positive Attitude changes everything!
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